Our 16th ‘Investor Story’  Author:  Anonymous  

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Life is not as you think it will treat you when you dream well about it. I was blessed to have a life partner who never made me feel alone in any part of my life, mentally and emotionally.

But my life took a big turn when I lost my husband suddenly in a cardiac arrest. This was shocking and left me unprepared, and quite helpless with my two kids. It also shocked me financially as I never paid attention and gave time to understand my home finances and money matters. Losing your life partner unexpectedly in the middle of your life journey is heartbreaking. It is my life’s darkest and saddest moment.

Today, I left with the responsibilities of my two little kids, their present and future security, and debts to pay off with almost no savings and investments. And that’s too without any basic knowledge of personal finance. Honestly, money is the last thing that I want to think about, and want someone else to deal with it for me. Although I know I can’t, I cannot avoid it.

My new reality:

After my husband’s death, there were so many decisions I needed to take, and that too as early as I could, including decisions related to finances. We, husband, and wife were following the same traditional gender roles- men taking the lead on finances and women taking care of kids, home, cooking, and other aspects.

I had never paid attention before to any money matters and had not actively participated in savings and investment decisions with my husband. My husband, on the other side, used to believe in enjoying the present and hence, spent his income mostly on lifestyle and regular expenses. Also, my husband had hardly tried to do any savings/investments and took a lot of debt.

Now, after the untimely death of my husband, I am getting a new reality check and realizing the importance of financial literacy things like having term insurance, an emergency fund, and investments. I wish my husband could have taken the term plan, made a Will, and invested in a few good options.

All these things might have helped me today, in securing my kids’ future and taking care of some of my regular expenses. I wish I could have given some time to learn about managing money and my home finances.

My husband’s death changed my life in so many ways. I am required not only to start earning on my own but also need to learn about financial skills that may not have been part of my duties while married. Learning about finances from basics is a foreign language for me, but I must learn it as it’s not an option for me now.

After realizing my new financial reality, I thought to get the help of an experienced and professional person in the finance field. I was in stress that I need to pay off my husband’s debt, to manage my kids’ school fees, daily expenses, and other things with almost no savings or investment from my husband.

Therefore, I posted for help anonymously in a FB moms’ group. From this group, I got connected with Gayatri. She scheduled a call, and I told her about my situation in detail. After listening to my story carefully, she suggested me few things to manage my financial situation.

As she said, a few items must need taken care of immediately and the rest can be scheduled for a later time to be managed. She helped me to organize tasks in a step-by-step manner. She also made it clear that things will take time to adjust and go back to normal.

My new role:

As the head of my family now, with two financially and emotionally dependent kids on me, I have this new role in my life- to earn, manage and safeguard the future of the three of us- financially.

Following are the few steps suggested by Gayatri:

• Make an excel file with the current expenses and sources from which I am getting money (I am getting some financial help from my family and in-law’s family for a few months till I start earning and becoming independent).
• Try to save money whenever possible as a backup for the next few months for any unexpected or sudden expenses.
• Making a list of all debts and trying to find out the type of debt. Gayatri told me that the joint loan in the case of a home loan is required to pay by a surviving co-signer. While in the case of secured debt, if the surviving partner does not service the debt, the lender can take possession of the collateral or enforce the security. And in the unsecured debt kind, the lender cannot claim unpaid dues from the surviving spouse. Hence, she asked to create a debt pay-off plan depending on the debt type.
• Finding out the financial documents /papers and noting down in a list for bank accounts, investment accounts if any, home or house property, car/vehicle, insurance policies, loans, credit cards, and recent statements for same.
• Inform the respective bank, insurance company, or other related companies about the husband’s death and do the necessary processes to transfer the ownership.
• Make a file of the above papers/documents with the husband’s death certificate & marriage certificate.
• Keeping your valuable jewelry and belongings in a safe place where no one can access them other than you.
• Consult with a Chartered Accountant for taxes.
• As my husband was self-employed there are no steps needed to take to claim the benefits from the employer as beneficiary.
• Avoid/postpone things for later like selling /moving from your house, large buying, investing any money, etc.

I started working on a few things already. I am quite comfortable doing this now and trying to manage the situation with less stress.

I feel, learning about personal finance, and money management is very important for every woman. It’s a life skill that helps you in many ways and increases your self-confidence. Further, taking proper advice and going through a registered financial advisor is essential. I learned so many things from my discussion with Gayatri. I highly appreciate Gayatri’s timely help and all the guidance.

We ladies always depend on men, and it gets difficult to deal with finances when we lose our life partner suddenly. All ladies need to be independent financially.

I hope my above article will help many ladies who are reading this, and they will start learning actively about finances and money.

Thanks

Few helpful article links for readers:

Ladies..! Be Independent, In All The Way

Financial Details Your Family Will Need If You Are No More

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